Realistic Dreams
by Lavenderangel
Summary: Clark angst set post-Rosetta. Clark dreams of his life back on Krypton... but is it more than just a dream? Also includes slight Clana.


Title: Realistic Dreams  
Author: Lala  
Category: Clark Angst, slight Clana  
Rating: G  
Summary: Clark dreams of a memory from Krypton… But is it only a dream? Post-Rosetta.  
Spoilers: Rosetta.  
Author's notes: This wasn't going to become C/L, I wanted it to just be pure Clark angst, but that would be like strawberries with out whip cream - near impossible.  
  
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An endless repetition of his father's voice seemed to haunt his very soul. It echoed endlessly, in both his waking and sleeping moments.  
  
As his sleep deepened, the voice finally, slowly, mercifully, faded, and he was overtaken by an almost painful silence.  
  
Suddenly, there were soft hands caressing him, smoothing his hair, as gentle arms held him close.  
  
A warm, unfamiliar yet gentle voice spoke meaningless words, as her eyes bore into his.  
  
He spoke words in the same unfamiliar language and moved deeper into her embrace.  
  
Her warmth soothed him, seeped inside him, seeming to fill an empty void he hadn't even realized was there.  
  
The emotions were so strong, so powerful, that they were almost touchable. Tears streamed down his face, and her warm hands brushed them away.  
  
She touched her forehead to his cheek in a gesture that was both new and familiar to him. It was an expression of love he knew, and he returned the act, feeling the joy inside him growing.  
  
He remained infolded in her embrace for hours, but it was as though time had stopped. He would have stayed there forever if he could, but suddenly he was torn from her embrace.  
  
He cried out silently to her, almost feeling a physical ache now that she was gone.  
  
Slowly she reappeared, and phantom fingertips brushed his cheek before she was gone from him forever in a flash of light and terrified screams.  
  
He jolted upright, eyes moving rapidly around his room, passing over everything but not really seeing it.  
  
He stood on silent legs and left his room, suddenly feeling suffocated.  
  
He descended the stairs silently, expression blank, body seeming to be numb of any and all emotions.  
  
He almost seemed to be blind. All he saw was her face, all he felt were her hands.  
  
Her quiet words played distantly in his head, like a painful echo of something that would never be again.  
  
He wanted to get away from her, from the voice he'd never heard yet knew better than his own.  
  
He entered the kitchen and as he passed by a picture of his family it seemed to break through the haze that seemed to have surrounded him.  
  
He looked at them, the people he'd known as parents for so long, and saw them; really saw them for the first time.  
  
He took in his mother, his adoptive mother, his earth mother… not his real mother.  
  
Not the woman who had held him, had loved him, who had been a part of his creation.  
  
His father was in the picture too, along with Clark himself, but they were lost to his eyes. He stared at her image and emotions returned to him like a wave crashing onto the shore of a sea in a violent title wave, almost making him fall over in their ferocity and intensity.  
  
He stumbled backwards, away from her image, away from her love. He turned and found the door, struggling to open it and rushing outside, not caring what the consequences were if he woke his parents.  
  
The night air calmed him slightly, a gentle breeze blowing through his hair.  
  
He walked to the barn and climbed the latter, not feeling as the wood dug into his bare feet. It left no scars, no marks, no evidence that the wood had touched him.  
  
He stood in the loft for a moment, before going and looking out to the stars.  
  
His home wasn't there, he was certain of that now.  
  
It was gone.  
  
All gone.  
  
His father, all of his own kind… they were all gone.  
  
His mother was gone.  
  
Dead.  
  
Beyond saving.  
  
He sunk to the hard floor and a whimper left his parched lips.  
  
To the human ear it would sound like a meaningless string of words, but to him it made sense.  
  
It was a despairing sound, a desperate call for love, a plea for condolence, for his solitude to be ended.  
  
Abrupt footsteps cause him to turn. The figure came into view, rising into his line of sight as though coming up from the depths of the world.  
  
She held a flashlight, which was the only light in the room, and it cast shadows off everything.  
  
The light caused her appearance to change, to give her an almost immortal look. She took on an angelic stance it seemed, and he felt her take him in, studying him, seeing him for the first time it seemed.  
  
She walked over and sat beside him. She turned, as though she were going to speak to him, but as their gazes connected, her mouth closed, as she almost seemed to stare into his soul.  
  
Silence prevailed as they continued to watch each other. No words were needed; she seemed to know with out asking.  
  
His pain reflected back at him in her gentle gaze, and he longs to take it away but does not know how.  
  
He does not know how to help her, to save her.  
  
He is helpless, vulnerable to whatever is thrown at him.  
  
He hopes she can save him, needs her to.  
  
Abruptly she moves closer towards him, their eye contact never breaking. Her arms encircle him, drawing him close, pressing her body up against his. The usual feelings that this action would have triggered in him are gone.  
  
The pain and despair well up inside him and he finally allows them to be exposed.  
  
Tears form in his eyes, but he is powerless to stop them.  
  
The tears are hidden from her sight by the darkness, but as though she can sense them, she reaches out, acting as his mother had and wipes them away with light, gentle strokes of her fingers.  
  
He presses his face into her dark hair, his own arms winding themselves around her as his tears come quicker, silently falling down his face.  
  
He cries for what feels like hours, but in reality cannot have been more than fifteen minutes.  
  
She remains holding him long after his tears have stopped, seeming to know that it is what he needs right now.  
  
He presses his forehead to her cheek, imitating the gesture of love his mother showed to him in the dream that seems to have been hours ago. After a second's hesitation, she tentatively returns the gesture.  
  
His eyes close as he falls into a much-needed sleep, knowing she will still be there when he wakes, that she is not going to leave him, that she will stay with him, loving him for all of time.  
  
She soon joins him in slumber, and he is finally at peace.  
  
FIN  
  
Author's notes:  
This isn't my usual writing style, but I wanted to make this fic sort of poetic in a sense. It didn't actually work, but I tried… please give me your honest opinion on this fic! 


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